


forgotten sun | dsmp!roleplay

by shonatas



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Dream Team SMP Spoilers, DreamSMP - Freeform, Ghostbur, Hurt/Comfort, Other, Philzaminecraft - Freeform, Platonic Relationships, Post-Manberg-Pogtopia War on Dream Team SMP (Video Blogging RPF), Sleepyboisinc - Freeform, TechnoBlade, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit Friendship, TommyInnit - Freeform, tommyandtechnobladebeingbrothersforthefirsttimeinlikeever, tommyexilearc, tommytubboreunion, tubbolive - Freeform, wilbursoot - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:54:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28091229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shonatas/pseuds/shonatas
Summary: “Let me go home!” he screamed, his voice breaking into a million different pieces.Tommy didn’t want to get up. If he stayed here, freezing, crying .. maybe death would pay a kind visit. It was the only thing he could think about. He couldn’t imagine how much happier he’d be dead. Much happier than alive, that was for sure. He didn’t want to be here anymore.No one wanted him.They had forgotten.(hi this is a dsmp!roleplay fic based off of tommy's exile there are lots of spoilers !!! also this is strictly platonic please don't actually ship tommy and tubbo that is not ok :D)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 56





	forgotten sun | dsmp!roleplay

“Tommy!” 

The cheerful voice of Ghostbur rang in his ears. He was sorting through the ragged backpack he carried around, trying to find any extra clothing he may have thrown in there a while ago. No luck. His blue eyes were fading, his gaze weary and old. With every day that passed in exile, his youth seemed to lose itself too. 

He slowly glanced over his shoulder. For a second it looked like his old friend Tubbo was approaching, but when he blinked, all he saw was the transparent body of his brother. He shook his head, rubbing his eyes. His heart ached. He was tired.

He wanted to go home. 

“Hello, Wil.” he greeted. Tommy didn’t care much that Ghostbur didn’t like to be addressed as his name when he was alive, but the ghost didn’t comment on it today. Instead, he frowned and reached into his pocket. He pulled out the pieces of Blue he always carried around and extended his hand. 

“Have some Blue, Tommy,” he said softly, “You look sad.”

Tommy gazed at him for a while. Blandly, he took the blue from his hand and shoved it into his bag carelessly. “Of couse I’m fucking sad.” 

He felt a lump rise in his throat. He was so alone.

_I’m so alone._

_I want to go home._

The blonde bit his lip and shook his head, trying to clear his head. He pushed himself to his feet and wobbled for a second before he caught himself. “No. I’m fine,” he decided. If he told himself that, maybe one day he’d believe it. 

He began to walk away, back to his tent, back to the compass -- when suddenly a hand gripped his. He lifted his head to meet Ghostbur’s dark eyes. He had forgotten that his deceased brother was able to touch him. It was odd -- how the brunette couldn’t even shake hands with Dream or Quackity, but when it was Tommy he could embrace him in the warmest of hugs. 

Tommy didn’t understand it either, but he appreciated that at least he had someone. Even if he was dead. Even if he had betrayed him. Even if he destroyed everything that they could have had. 

No. That was Wilbur. He clenched his fists. He had to remember. This was not Wilbur. He couldn’t get angry. Ghostbur was trying. He wanted to be better. Tommy had to remember that. 

“Tommy,” Ghostbur met his eyes, “You should let it out. Do you want to talk?”

“No.”

“Tommy.”

Tommy averted his gaze. Even if he _wasn’t_ Wilbur, he still could make Tommy feel like a child again, being reprimanded for stealing his guitar or his beanie. It was incredible just how awful it was. He missed his brother. He didn’t want him to die. 

There was always a second chance. There was a way to come back from this. If Wilbur would have just let someone help.. If he had reached out .. maybe they wouldn’t have lost him.

Tommy blinked. He was not about to make the same mistake as him. He would not become the next Wilbur. He was stronger than that. He let out a deep sigh and glanced back at the spirit, running a hand through his light hair.

“Okay. Let’s talk.” 

Ghostbur smiled at him and slipped his hand into his brother’s, pulling him back to Logstedshire. Tommy followed with a disinterested line on his face, eyes narrowed. He didn’t really want to talk. He just wanted to get out of here. 

Tommy said down on the steps of Wilbur’s cabin in the back, holding his head in his hands. He was tired. He couldn’t even open his mouth. He was empty. He felt like the exact opposite of himself. He wanted to sleep forever. He wanted to disappear. 

“I miss home.” he started, holding his breath. 

Ghostbur folded his hands together, taking a seat besides him. “But this is home now!” he attempted with a smile. “It’s nice here, we’ve had some good laughs, Tommy! And I’ve built this nice little place for you. And I can build more and -”

“It’s not home, Wil.”

The ghost stared at him. He could tell it wasn’t working. Nothing was working anymore. 

Ghostbur’s smile fell and he took a deep breath before turning to Tommy. 

“Look, Tommy,” he paused, “I know this is hard! And .. and I also know this is sort of my fault. I get that. I know.” he put his hand on Tommy’s leg, using his other to gesture to the rest of their surroundings. “But things will get better. You’re going to go home one day! And everyone will be so happy to see you .. and maybe you can be Vice President again!” 

Tommy didn’t look convinced. “Yeah?”

“Yeah!” Wilbur turned back to him and smiled. “Things will turn out okay, Tommy. You’ve made it this far, right? You’re a fighter, man! You’re the hero!”

“I’m the hero?” he echoed, gazing back at him. He let out a short, dry laugh. “That’s funny.”

_You know what they did to him, Tommy? They exiled him. He died in disgrace, despised by his people. That's what happens to heroes, Tommy._

Techno’s words rang in his ears. Suddenly, his head began to pound. No. No. No.

He didn’t want to be the hero.

No. No.

He didn’t want this to happen. Why did it happen?

Tommy stood up abruptly, his eyes wide and full of distraught. He looked horrified, desperate. All of the sudden, he felt like he was going to vomit. He stumbled off of the steps, clutching his hand to his chest. Those words pounded into his head, they shook him, rattled him and made all of his thoughts collide and crash and he was spiraling and spiraling and falling and

It hurt

It hurt so much and he couldn’t take it 

He couldn’t do it

Ghostbur was saying his name, but it was muffled and blurry and Tommy couldn’t see anything and he couldn’t hear anything and he was walking but he didn’t feel his legs move. He was crying but his cheeks didn’t feel wet. He was screaming but he couldn’t hear himself. 

Tommy ran. He ran and he ran. Out into the pouring rain. Out in the dead of night. 

He was falling over his own feet but it didn’t matter. He kept running. He was breathing harshly and he could barely suck in the air around him. It was cold. It was so cold. He was cold and wet and his body could barely take it. 

He tripped over himself and fell, finding his face buried deep in snow. When did he get here?

Where was Ghostbur? Where was anyone?

_Im alone again_

Weak. Desperate. Alone. Alone. Alone. 

He was alone. Again.

He was by himself. He was no one. He was just this broken shell of a boy. 

The tears came back. They streamed down his face, but Tommy tried to pull himself up from the ground nonetheless. 

He couldn’t stand. He fell back down again. This time he didn’t move. He was scared. And he was lonely. He wanted a hug. 

His fingers were white and frozen, but he clenched them into fists and let out a strangled wail, banging them against the ground. He was ripping apart, his seams winding loose and making him fall further and further away from the stability he so desperately needed. 

“Let me go home!” he screamed, his voice breaking into a million different pieces. 

Tommy didn’t want to get up. If he stayed here, freezing, crying .. maybe death would pay a kind visit. It was the only thing he could think about. He couldn’t imagine how much happier he’d be dead. Much happier than alive, that was for sure. He didn’t want to be here anymore.

No one wanted him.  
They had forgotten.

Tubbo had forgotten.  
And it hurt.

That compass must have meant nothing. Tubbo could’ve visited him. He wasn’t exiled. 

Instead, he was laughing with Ranboo and Fundy. It was like Tommy had been nothing to him.

_“This guy’s so clingy,” Tommy rolled his eyes, pushing Tubbo off of him._

__

__

_Tubbo grinned and punched his arm lightly. “It’s cause you’re my best friend, Tommy!”_

_“Yeah?” Tommy laughed, “Well, you’re mine too.” He wrapped an arm around the brunette and ruffled his hair with a devious grin._

_And there was nothing that could change that._

____________________________________________________________________________

It must have been hours before Tommy woke up. When he opened his eyes, he was disappointed to realize that he was in fact still alive. Disappointed -- but somewhat relieved. As much as he wanted to rid himself of this pain, he didn’t want to die. Every time he stared into the blazing orange ocean of lava in the Nether, he was so close to jumping. But every time he almost fell forward, he thought of how he would be giving in.

He thought about how selfish it would be to give up to this. When he thought about it, he realized that if he jumped -- if he let himself dissolve into just a memory, he’d be letting Dream win.

And he could not let Dream win.

Weakly, Tommy rubbed his eyes and yawned. He struggled to sit up, feeling his body grow more and more fragile with every passing moment. His stomach growled and he inwardly groaned. 

Then, he took a look around. He didn’t feel cold. There was no snow around him. Instead, he was tucked into some sort of bed, blankets swarming him as he realized just where he was. His eyes adjusted to the dark and with a startled gasp, he took notice to the posters barely visible on the wall. 

_Holy shit._

His eyes widened and he threw the blankets off of him. Quickly, Tommy scrambled to his feet. 

As soon as he stood, he tumbled forward, barely catching himself on the door. His breath caught in his throat, his fingers wound tightly on the knob to keep himself from collapsing. He was so weak.

Gritting his teeth, Tommy cursed under his breath.

_I’m pathetic._

Seconds later, the knob was forced to turn -- but not by Tommy’s hand. Light filtered into the room from the hallway and a large silhouette entered. The young boy let his eyes find the face of the new entity, his heart filling with dread.

The lanterns flickered on and Tommy found himself unable to move. He stared into the eyes of someone he wished never to see again.

“Hey, nerd. You’re awake.”

There was a brief pause. Tommy’s hands were shaking as he pushed himself up and against the wall. He felt like he was going to fall down at any given moment. 

With weakly narrowed eyes, he stared up at his eldest brother with disgust glimmering in his fading gaze. His mouth was curled into a snarl, but he wasn’t as intimidating as he used to be. 

“Why am I here?” he asked. His voice was hard and unrelenting, much different from his current position.

Techno sighed and shut the door behind him. “Not even a hello?” he joked dryly, shaking his head. “It’s fine. Not sure what I was expecting anyways,” he sat himself on the edge of the bed, muttering under his breath. “I’m the last person you wanna see.”

At that, Tommy’s harsh expression fell just a little. Even if it was partially true .. No. Tommy shook his head. He wouldn’t let his heart deter his mind from the unnegotiable: Technoblade was his enemy. 

“Well, I found you face-down in the snow. I was gonna leave ya,” that was an obvious lie. Techno, despite the tone of his voice, was obviously worried about Tommy. “But Phil wanted to take you back here.”

Tommy stiffened. “Phil’s here?”

Phil. If he could trust anyone, he could trust Phil. He could go to him for help -- he could take Phil back to Logstedshire. Phil would stay with him and keep him safe. He would, right? 

Right?

“Yeah. Phil’s here. Making dinner, though. And I doubt you have the strength to walk downstairs.” Techno replied, eyeing him up. If he had to be honest, he could tell Tommy barely had the strength to even move. It sent a less-than-comforting feeling, but Techno didn’t want to show that he cared. If he did, Tommy would probably hate him even more. 

He’d think of it as pity, but in all truth, Techno had cared about his youngest brother for longer than he cared to admit. He wanted to be there for him, especially now, especially since Wilbur was gone. Tommy didn’t want him, though, and he understood that. It was just hard to watch him crumble like this. 

Techno watched as Tommy rolled his eyes at his statement. The blonde obviously had taken it as a challenge, just like always. 

He pushed off of the wall and steadied himself, planting one foot in front of the other. He almost gripped onto the door, but just to prove he was able, he nudged it away from him. Something of a smirk curved his lips, but it didn’t last long. 

Just as he had climbed up, he had slipped back down.

Techno was quick. Before Tommy could hit the ground, he threw himself forward and grabbed him. Without realizing it, Tommy had clutched onto his shirt and held onto his arm, desperate for any sort of support to help him up. 

The half-pig, half-human adjusted his stance so Tommy was engulfed in some sort of stable embrace. He didn’t mean to hug him, but his body had moved on its own. He didn’t want to let go though, and neither did his sibling, it seemed.

Techno was rather startled that Tommy hadn’t kicked away from him. He dropped his head to look down at him, but his head was buried in Techno’s chest. If he listened closely, he could hear him sniffle. 

Losing all sense of himself, Techno’s eyes softened and he wrapped his arms around him tighter. He squeezed his own eyes shut and his eyebrows knit together. Something struck a chord in his chest, in his heart. That guarded thing had suddenly been touched, suddenly been hit with the memory of someone he cherished. 

It was out of character, something Techno would’ve never allowed himself to say at any other time, but he let the words slip from his tongue.

“Tommy,” he breathed, “I’m here.”

At that, Tommy cried harder. He didn’t know why he was letting this happen. He hated Techno. He was the reason for all of this. It was all his fault. He betrayed them, hurt them -- tried to kill Tubbo for good. 

He ruined everything. He made Tommy trust him and then destroyed it. Tommy had put his faith in Techno. He was someone he admired, someone he liked to joke with and tease with. Now, he couldn’t even look at him without remembering just how much he had hurt everything Tommy loved.

Still, though. 

Even after all of the pain that he had caused, Techno felt like home.

____________________________________________________________________________

“Eat up, kiddo,” Philza grinned brightly, patting the seat besides him at the table. Tommy sat and, without another word, leaned his head against Phil’s shoulder.

Techno sat across the table, blinking slowly. After Tommy had stopped crying, he brought him downstairs to say hello to their father. The poor kid almost broke down again, but Phil had worked his magic. In an instant, he was cracking jokes that had Tommy offering just the tiniest hint of a smile.  
If only, Techno had thought to himself. If only it was like this all the time.

Now they were eating dinner. Tommy needed it. He took the spoon from the table and dipped it into his bowl, scooping up a spoonful of soup. He lifted it to his mouth and sipped carefully. Immediately, his eyes seemed to brighten up.

“Damn,” he turned to Phil, “This is really good.”

“I know,” Phil said with a light-hearted smile. “Your brother used to love it.”

“Techno?” Tommy asked, glancing at him. He took another sip, relishing in the taste. 

Phil shook his head. “Wil,” he replied. “I make it every once in a while,” he added softly. His smile fell a little, looking down at his own dish. “Just to remember, y’know?”

Tommy nodded, his grip on his spoon tightening a little.

“Do you miss him?” he asked, looking between Techno and Phil. “Do you miss Wilbur? Even after everything he’s done? Even after he forced everyone to risk it all just to lose it anyways?” he dropped his gaze back down to the table. 

“Sorry,” he added after a brief moment, “I didn’t mean that.”

Phil put his hand on his shoulder. “Despite it all, kid, I miss him more than you can even begin to imagine,” he murmured. The gleam in his eyes was bittersweet, melancholic even. 

Tommy looked up at him, seeming a little surprised by his answer. He found it hard to look at Phil when his eyes glimmered like that. He wanted to tell his father that it wasn’t his fault, but he understood how it felt. Phil must have felt like he was the reason Wilbur turned out like that. In some weird way, Tommy felt the same way.

_If I had just listened more, maybe.._ He trailed off in his own mind, deciding to stop thinking about it before he got worked up.

He took a deep breath and nodded. “Yeah. Me too.”

Suddenly the air felt a little heavier, a little thicker. Usually, if the mood had fallen, Wilbur would take out his guitar and play a song. Tommy used to whine about it, complaining to Phil that he was interrupting his precious time. Wilbur would laugh and sit right next to him, strumming even louder. 

“Remember when he used to sing you to sleep?” Techno contributed quietly, “You’d wake up screaming and crying, right? And he’d come in and hold your hand.. And he’d sing to you.” he glanced at his brother. “Do you remember that?”  
Tommy blinked. His heart ached. “He sang to me recently, y’know, Ghostbur.” he replied, avoiding the question. He didn’t want to answer. He didn’t want to remember, cause if he did, he’d never forget. 

And Tommy was trying so hard to forget.

‘Cause that was easier -- just to forget about him. Just to forget about how much of a hero he had been in Tommy’s eyes. 

“It wasn’t the same though. He couldn’t remember the lyrics.” he felt that lump rise in his throat again. 

“I fucking hate him.”

Techno and Phil both narrowed their eyes, Phil opening his mouth. “Tommy-”

“I fucking hate him for leaving me.” when Tommy met his father’s eyes, tears were falling from his. 

“Tommy..” Phil extended his arms and pulled him in, wrapping himself around his son. He rested his head on his shoulder, remembering when he had been small enough to lay his chin on top of his head. Now, Tommy was taller than him. 

It was painful to see how fast his youngest son had to grow up. How fast he had to let go of his childhood and move on from everything he never got to experience in his youth. 

“No, I’m fine.” Tommy pushed away, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. “I don’t like crying.” he said, shaking his head, “But I just can’t stop. It’s funny, actually,” he lifted his head, laughing dryly, “Whenever I want to scream, I can’t. But whenever I don’t want to cry, it’s like I don’t have a choice.”

He turned to Phil. His voice was nothing of a whisper. “Why can’t I scream, Phil?”

Phil stiffened, his light eyes widening. He stared at him, and for the first time in a long time, he had not a comforting word to say. 

____________________________________________________________________________

A few days passed, about 2 or three, before Phil had pointed out that if Tommy didn’t get back to Logstedshire soon, Dream would come back angry. He was concerned the first time Tommy woke up here, but he had reassured him that Dream specifically told him he wouldn’t be able to visit for a few days. 

At first, Tommy was upset. He’d be all alone again. As much as he didn’t want Dream’s company, he was the only person who actually wanted to come and visit him -- the only person who was still his friend. Now though, he realized it was probably a good thing. If Dream knew Techno had found him and taken him in, he’d probably be upset.

He could just lie when he got back, saying that he was just too weak to get much done without Dream there. Worst come to worst, Dream would just punish him for lying. It didn’t really matter to Tommy. He knew he didn’t have much longer left, anyways. 

Tommy slung a bag over his shoulder slowly, wincing at the weight of it. It wasn’t even heavy, he was just so, so delicate nowadays. He glanced up at Techno and then Phil. “Hey.. uhm,” he rubbed the back of his neck, cheeks growing red.

“Will you guys ..walk me home, maybe?” he asked. His voice was small, shy even. He averted his eyes, trying not to let his face get any redder. 

Techno guffawed, just barely grinning. “Sure, nerd.” he put his hand on Tommy’s head and messed with his hair, earning a grunt from the younger. He walked towards the door, grabbing his cloak, and opened it. Looking back at the two of them, he gestured to the snowy outside.

“Ready?”

Tommy breathed deeply. “As I’ll ever be. Back home, I go.” he joked with a withered smile. 

The three of them set off, Tommy leading them in the direction which he hoped was Logstedshire. He vaguely remembered which way was which anymore, but this seemed right, so he kept it moving. He was cold, even if Techno had given him his old coat to drape over his shoulders. 

“‘Ey, Tommy,” Phil hummed.

“Yeah?”

“We’re proud of you. All of us.” 

His heart nearly fell out of his chest. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had told him that. He shoved his hands into his pockets and puffed out his cheeks, attempting to blow it off as some stupid remark. 

He rolled his eyes, though he was even redder than before. “Duh,” he replied, but it was plain to see that Tommy was grateful for the comment, however out of place it may have seemed. 

“I’m awesome,” he added, but it didn’t sound right. Any other time, he would’ve belted that out with a prideful grin, but now it was just an empty statement. Not even Tommy believed it. 

“Yeah. You get that from me,” Techno teased.

“No, definitely not.” Tommy shook his head. “You’re lame, you fuckin’ pig.”

“Language, Tommy!” Phil’s voice was pitched an octave higher, imitating one of Tommy’s favorite people to make fun of: BadBoyHalo.

For the first time in a really, really long time, Tommy burst out laughing. His loud, boisterous laugh echoed for a few seconds, sending a smile onto all of their faces. As sad as he felt, it wasn’t as bad when he was with these two -- even if he knew it wouldn’t last long. 

Right. It wouldn’t last long. They would leave again, and he’d be all alone. 

But for right now, he didn’t want to think about that. 

“I can say all the bad words I know if you want,” Tommy said, looking over his shoulder at Phil. 

“No, no, Tommy!” Phil still kept it going, but he was close to breaking into a fit of giggles too. 

Techno rolled his eyes with a silent grin and just kept walking. It felt nice. He wished that it could’ve been like this all along, but there was nothing he could do about that now. Wilbur was dead. Tommy was exiled, close to gone, really, and the rest of the SMP hated him.

_Yeah, that’s what I get for caring, huh? He thought._

It would’ve been better to stay alone. 

After a while, they seemed to finally get away from the snowy biome that Phil and Techno made a home out of. Tommy shivered, but he felt a little better. Though the dreadful feeling of loneliness started to crawl back to him, he tried to enjoy this moment while it lasted. Soon, he’d be all by his lonesome again.

As they tread onwards, the sun began to shine a little brighter on the green leaves of the trees surrounding them. Its light warmed Tommy’s face, sparking the smallest flicker of hope inside of him. He didn’t want to give in to that feeling, though, for he would ultimately be torn down again. He knew better than that. He knew better than to hope that anything good would happen to him. This world had proven time and time again that it had nothing nice to offer to him.

“The sun is bright,” Techno grumbled. “It’s like it’s screaming right into my eyes. Too loud,” he raised his hand to his eyes to shield them from the burning blaze in the sky.

Phil laughed. “Kinda like Tommy.” 

Tommy wasn’t really paying attention. He was walking, concentrating on which way he remembered Logstedshire was. 

Techo blinked, his gaze landing on his younger brother. He stared at him for a moment, Phil’s words making him think. A second later, he nodded. “Yeah. Kinda like Tommy.”

The two of them exchanged glances, a spark of understanding crossing their eyes. They both were silent though, following him through the thick forest. A wordless agreement had been settled between the two of them. 

Techno winked at eye up at the sky, sighing softly. He stared at the sun, squinting. Sometimes, he realized, the sun fell, and when it did, everything else seemed to as well. When its energy fizzled, everyone’s hope would die out too. It was like this big beacon of light for them all. Without even realizing it, too, it was what kept them all going. Even if it was bright and rather cruel sometimes, it never simply died out. 

If the sun shattered, something told him it would never fade away completely.

He looked back at Tommy, who was picking up his pace now. They must have been near his new home. He pushed past brambles and thick bushes to follow the blonde. It wasn’t a very clear path, as the branches kept tugging on his cloak, but he made his way through.

As soon as they lifted their eyes, they set their gazes on Tommy’s new campsite.

However, Tommy’s eyes were somewhere else.

Someone else. 

“Tubbo?”

____________________________________________________________________________

Tommy froze in place, his eyes were as wide as the moon. He stared ahead, wondering if he was hallucinating or not. When Techno and Phil looked his way, they saw him too. 

Tubbo stood next to Ghostbur, having somewhat of a worried conversation.

“I’ll have my men sent out on search parties! I’ll.. I’ll even look myself!” Tubbo’s voice was strained, sounding as if he had been crying. They were too far away to tell, but it wasn’t hard to imagine that he was probably pretty shaken up. 

“I don’t care if he’s exiled, Ghostbur, I don’t want him dead!”

“Tubbo, listen--”

“No! It’s different if I know he’s here and he’s safe, but I have no clue where he is, okay? And if he’s dead, if he’s gone, I’ll never forgive myself. If I can find him, even if he doesn’t want to see me, I’m going to look!” he threw his arms around sporadically, clearly worked up.

He shook his head, running his hand through his hair anxiously. He glanced to the right, just able to see some form of a figure out of his peripherals, and had to look again.

And again. And again and again and again.

“Tommy?” 

Tubbo fell forward, racing towards the trees next to where Tommy stood. He nearly tripped over a few divets in the ground, but he didn’t care. He clung to the hope that deep down, Tommy still wanted to see him. The brunette flung himself at his old friend, not thinking, and wrapped his arms around him.

Tommy was too shocked to move. 

Tears were falling rapidly from both of them, Tubbo burying his face into Tommy’s chest with a loud cry. “Tommy..” he sniffled, “Tommy.. I’m so glad … I’m so glad you’re okay..”

Tommy blinked. “Am.. A-am I hallucinating? Is this a dream?” he stammered, his voice catching in his throat. He dropped his head, staring down at Tubbo. This felt real… he felt Tubbo’s warmth. 

Tubbo..

Forgetting everything, Tommy sunk to his knees, bringing Tubbo with him. They both fell against each other, holding on tighter than ever before. Tubbo could feel how cold Tommy was, he could see the rips and tears on his clothes. He could hear the pain in his voice. And it hurt to understand that he was the reason for Tommy’s state. 

Ghostbur was now standing next to his brother and father, a weak smile on his face. Techno’s heart was tight in his chest -- and Phil had to look away. It was impossible not to feel this moment, even if it wasn’t theirs. 

“Tommy, Tommy.. Listen to me,” Tubbo’s voice was muffled, but he managed to break away slightly to stare up into Tommy’s eyes.

He winced, realizing just how gray his best friend looked. Even his eyes had lost their spark. 

His hand rested on Tommy’s. 

“I…” he paused, trying to collect himself. He wiped his eyes, but every time he tried to speak, he started crying again. Every time he stared at Tommy, he couldn’t help but lose it. There was a mix of relief, fear, and guilt spiraling through him. He had done this. This was ultimately Tubbo’s decision -- to put the country or Tommy first. Of course he had chosen L’manberg, there was no way he couldn't have. The truth, as hard as it was to swallow, was that Tommy was a liability. He was reckless and led with his heart rather than his head. The decision had been hard, and Tubbo was haunted by nightmares every night, but in the end it was the right thing to do.

But now, looking at him like this, Tubbo didn’t quite understand what was right anymore. 

“I am so, so sorry for everything, Tommy,” he began quietly, struggling to meet his eyes. “And you don’t have to forgive me.. But I just want you to know that I’m really sorry.”

Tubbo sighed softly, shaking his head. He sniffled, wiping his eyes again. “There’s a lot more that I want to say.. But I’m sure that you don’t really care.” 

Tommy lifted his head slowly, still trying to process that this was real. If this was a dream, he wouldn’t be able to handle it when he woke up. He wanted so desperately for this to be real, for this feeling to be true, for Tubbo to be standing right in front of him. He didn’t want to blink and let this fade away. 

He opened his mouth, ready to let the words come falling out, but instead there was just a feeble whisper.

“...You didn’t come visit me..” he didn’t sound mad, just hollow. 

“No no,” Tommy immediately shook his head, slamming the palm of his head against it. “I’m being selfish. You’ve had a lot to do. You’re the president now,” he said, sounding genuine. “I’m sorry, I’ve just missed you. I miss L’manberg.” 

He sighed, letting his gaze fall to the ground. “I miss home.”

“I would’ve come to visit you.. But I thought you hated me.. I thought you didn’t want to see me ever again and that I wasn’t allowed to come here.. So I didn’t.” he replied softly, “But when Ghostbur told me you’d gone missing for a few days, I had to come.”

Tommy looked back to him, a confused expression painting his features. “You wanted to come see me?”

Tubbo nodded, letting out an empty laugh. “Yeah.. of course I did. We’re best friends, after all.”

Tommy blinked. His eyes filled up again and he threw out his arms, pulling him into another tight embrace. He let a toothy grin curl his lips and hugged Tubbo close. This wasn’t a dream -- Tubbo was right in front of him. 

The other three were tense, but they seemed to relax at that. Techno let out a breath of relief and turned to Ghostbur, who was close to bawling. “Techno! Let’s hug like that!” he exclaimed, extending his arms. 

Techno’s eyes widened and he shook his head, stepping back. “Ghostbur, no-”

Phil laughed, watching as Techno and Ghostbur seemed to get themselves into a game of tag. He adjusted his hat, smiling to himself. He looked around at his kids, eyes glimmering proudly. After all of the shit they’d been through, they always bounced back.

Even if this was still a solutionless situation, they were a little happier now. Tommy was still exiled and Tubbo couldn’t bring him back without Dream, but they could worry about that later. Right now, things were perfect. They didn’t have to think about that. 

“Ew, Tommy, you smell!” Tubbo yelped, wrestling to get out of Tommy’s arms as the blonde ruffled his hair. He was smiling though, the smallest of tears still gleaming in his light eyes. Phil knew he still felt awful, but this was the start of them healing. 

Healing together. 

And honestly, that’s all they needed. 

There was a lot to fix, a lot to talk about, but all they really needed was now. 

“Shut up! I haven’t had a proper shower in weeks, man!” Tommy laughed, rolling over as he tugged Tubbo’s hair lightly. 

Chaos unfolded between them all, but for the first time in forever, it was the good kind. 

____________________________________________________________________________

A few hours later, they had all gathered by the seaside, sitting on the chairs Tommy had set up for his failed beach party. Now it all seemed like some hazy memory. Sure, he was still in torn clothes, and his body was weak, but he had his pep back. 

Tommy was back in business. 

The sun finally showered him again in its kindness.

_Took you long enough._

Everything was just fine. For now. 

Tubbo got up for a moment, and to his surprise, Tommy followed him quickly. He bit back a smile and made his way to the very edge of the sand, letting the water reach him. When he looked down, he realized Tommy was holding onto his arm. 

He glanced up at him, raising an eyebrow. “Who’s the clingy one, now?” he teased with a grin.

Tommy blinked down at him, dropping his fist onto Tubbo’s head slightly to bop him. Tubbo let out a high-pitched grunt and puffed out his cheeks, narrowing his eyes at him. 

They both smiled, staring out at the ocean. The music disc Chirp played in the background, a happy tune. 

“One day you’ll be back, Tommy,” Tubbo said softly, stepping closer to him as the cool evening breeze washed over them both. “I’m going to make sure of it.”

Tommy didn’t say anything. His eyes glistened again, tears filling them just barely. The moonlight illuminated his paled features. 

“I don’t want to be alone again, Tubbo.” 

“You won’t,” he replied, “We’ll figure this out.”

Tommy gave a small nod, but he didn’t seem convinced entirely. Tubbo grabbed his hand, gave it a tight squeeze, and kept their fingers laced together. He wasn’t letting go, not ever again.

As the music melodically hummed in the night, three other figures joined them. Somehow, their hands found a way to connect together too. 

Tommy’s cheeks were wet with tears, a weak smile on his face. He gazed into the sky, staring at the moon. Finally, he was surrounded by the people he loved.

Finally, he wasn’t alone anymore. 

“Welcome home, Tommy.”

**Author's Note:**

> hi! i spent like 4 days writing this ^w^ i might possibly write a part 2 if i feel like it! i hope everyone liked this maybe i didn't really plan it out i just kind of wrote and ran with it :D anyways bye bye now!!


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